Drink once if
-Chris says “literally”
-someone makes fun of Jerry
-April says something mean to Ann
-Ron says “no”
Drink twice if
-Ben looks into the camera and hates his life
-andy says “no way!”
-tom says “swag”
-Donna talks about her Mercedes
Drink three times if
- Leslie calls Ann beatiful
-Leslie talks about Ben’s butt
-April is nice to someone but is awkward about it
-Chris snaps and shoots his fingers at someone
What I’ve Learned:
1. A girl can lose feelings for you over night.
2. A kiss can be just that, a kiss. Completely meaningless.
3. Love can be one sided but I still wonder if that is love at all
4. Never beg for someone to stay or to love you. You shouldn’t have to beg for someone to be a part of your life or to love you. You deserve better than that.
5. Stop breaking your ribs to make space for those who do not belong there.
6. Learning to breathe again is harder than the doctors said it would be.
7. I don’t know what hurts more at night; being alone or being in love.
8. Laying with someone in bed at night is temporary. It won’t get rid of the lonely. You will still wake up and leave in the morning with a heavy heart and no hand to hold.
9. Sometimes the sky rains gasoline instead of water and you have to be strong enough and ignore the urge to set yourself on fire.
10. I will be okay someday. Bad things happen for no reason sometimes and things end but that shouldn’t mean you should come to an end too. The ocean will always have waves; I just have to learn to swim through them for a bit longer.
11. The stretch marks I left on my mother from birth will not be another suicide letter I never finished.
Prude - a woman who won’t fuck you
Dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis
Slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you
Tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you
Feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff
Bitch - a woman who treats you the same as you treat women
This is transmisogynist